The last week has been really eye opening. There have been things that have happened at work and in life that have exposed me to different feelings and ultimately different perspectives.
It is so true when they say, you never know what someone else is going through. The other side of that is don’t pre-judge (or like, don’t judge at all) and more importantly, don’t be an ass. I think we are hardwired to judge for some reason. Or to assume the worst instead of the best. Why is that??? I like to think of myself as someone who is open to different ideals, different schools of thoughts. I mean, I used to wear socks and Birks, and for shit-sake (thank you MB Conklin for ‘shit-sake’, it’s one my all-time faves), if that was in the dress code, I might consider doing it now. Why can’t we all just be chill and open and like non-judgey??
You know what’s the worst? When you’re in your own head and super judgemental. That is where I am right now. I can’t get out of it. Why didn’t I do this? Why didn’t I push for that? Why didn’t I solve for xyz at work 2 years ago? It’s so easy and natural to judge ourselves.
Today, I was at my annual OB appointment. For those who know me well, you know that my OB is a male and he is an amazing doctor. For others looking in, you might think why would a dude be an OB? What’s this guy’s motivation? Honestly, I had that thought too, at first. And then I got to know him as my doctor for several years. And then he delivered my first and only baby. And then he saved my life after a long and hard delivery. I have nothing but admiration for him.
At my appointment this morning, I could tell he wasn’t himself. I asked him how he was doing and he went on to tell me about his very recent trip to India. He spent two weeks in a red light district providing exams and prescribing medication to women and young girls (as young as 7 years old). He said the experience was sobering. This, from a man who has likely seen it all in his decades in the medical field.
As he logged the notes from the exam he began to cry, clearly emotionally exhausted from his experience. This man is an advoacate for women. Today he told me that he thinks women are just awesome. He is a husband and father to four girls. I mean, to live in a house full of hormones and to feel that way says it all.
At the end of my visit he told me the story of a young woman he met on his trip that by some miracle escaped slavery. She had been so poorly treated that one of her legs had to be amputated. My doctor is now trying to find a way to provide her with a prosthetic leg.
Since his return from India last week, this man has delivered 3 babies. Those three babies were born here in America, where anything is possible. Yes, there are challenges What about the 3 babies that were born across the globe, that have almost no chance of growing up the way that you and I did.
My one regret was not giving my doctor a hug. I felt like I needed to honor the doctor-patient relationship. I also thought it would be weird to hug someone while wearing a paper skirt, with socks…that is open in the back. So instead, I plan to send my doctor a letter. I want him to know how amazing and inspirational he is. Maybe he knows that already, but my guess is that he just thinks he’s doing the job he’s supposed to do.
I guess this week reminded me to make sure people in my life know how valued they are and to follow my heart. I hope you’ll do the same. Imagine what this world could be if we left our pre-judgements at the door and could just be human, kind and loving humans.
Much love and much hope. xo.